Joke Thievery via Social Media

I have noticed this trend for a while now - joke stealing via youtube, facebook or twitter. For those of you who don't really understand what a joke thief is....it's pretty self-explanatory.

Comedians have their thoughts and they deliver them onstage. Many hope to make it "big" and become the next Louis CK (and if you don't know who that is then please stop reading this blog) with original material and make it as a touring comedian or get on tv. Some people like to take shortcuts with this though and take material that they have heard or read and either deliver it as their own or try and get a following on facebook or twitter by posting a joke they just heard and presenting it as their own.

I am one of the few "comedy police" and I have caught a few people doing this over the past couple of years. I saw a guy post two jokes on twitter that he heard from the comedy club the night before and post this as his own on Twitter. I let him know that it was not his joke and I alerted the comedian who's joke it was as well. Now - regular folk do this and there's not really much you can do about it. BUT this was another comedian posting this - and that is unacceptable. I caught the guy doing it again as he saw a comic a couple weeks ago at the club from the US, and I just happened to work with him and know his material, so I sent him another message letting him know to stop. His action was to unfollow me on twitter and defriend me on facebook. The only thing I could do was to send a tweet to ask comedians to keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn't doing it again.

The joke stealing will get worse - especially on Twitter. It would be so easy for someone to click on a hashtag (ie #disappointingactionmovies) and just write down all of the punchlines that are written on this, take the best ones, and write a joke about it. You have thousands of people trying to be funny on this hashtag and I KNOW there will be people there to take advantage of this.

Comedy Police has no authority. We cannot make arrests. I'm not really in the "comedy circle" that alot of guys are. I live in Kingston so I'm not even in the main city (Toronto) so all I can really do is just post on people's status updates and let them know that they have taken something that is not theirs. There's nothing else really to do. I could go ahead and post a guy's name on my blog and say "watch out for this guy" but that would just alert the two people reading my blog and that would also make me look like a jerk.

I was talking to a comedian and he said, "you shouldn't be posting your bits online anyway" (and he also said that he was guilty of posting someone else's status as his own and didn't see what the problem was). I can't speak for everyone but I don't post "bits" on Twitter or Facebook. They are just thoughts - and some are pretty funny. That's how you kind of build a mini fan-base. So if someone takes my Tweet, and instead of retweeting it and just reposting as his own, he is taking my thought and saying it is his. That, in a word, is stealing. You have to give the guy who wrote it recognition.

I have spoken to a few people about this but I get the feeling that I might be one of the only ones that thinks this is bad. Maybe it's that paranoia thing again (and no - still haven't heard from my buddy) and most importantly - maybe some comedians just don't care. I know some do of course. There are other "comedy police" out there that are trying to keep the integrity of stand-up comedy in check.

It's only a matter of time before someone makes it big by calling himself "Larry the Hashtag Guy".

Oh - and for the record - I think it's terrible to tell a "street joke" on stage. I have had this debate before where a comic said, "You have to do what it takes to keep them laughing. If your closing joke doesn't work - tell a street joke". My thought of this is - if you couldn't keep them laughing with your own material - maybe you shouldn't have been on that show. There are some audiences that are bad of course - but if the ship is sinking just go down with it and have a little pride.

Here's something from Patton Oswalt's site from when he had some material stolen from him: http://www.pattonoswalt.com/index.cfm?page=spew&id=143

I just heard that they canceled the first two weeks of the basketball season. Well that's....ok, I tried. But I couldn't care less. One sport I could never get into.

My favourite sports go:

1. Baseball
2. Hockey
3. NFL
4. Nothing

My bottom two are definitely soccer and basketball and it's interchangeable which one is on the bottom. Really, it's whatever is on tv is worse. So if I flick on the tv and it's Soccer Saturday - it drops to the bottom of my list.

The baseball playoffs are on right now but with two kids we are trying to get as much sleep as possible so I've missed the endings of most games. Caught the grand slam by Nelson Cruz last night which would have been great if I was cheering for the Rangers. To be fair I more or less just pick a team and I don't really care who wins the World Series now as Toronto's not in and neither is San Fran. I'm also a closet Yankees AND Red Sox fan - so that should show my lack of devotion.

Unfriending is the new thing

I've been defriended on facebook and unfollowed on Twitter twice for something that I had said in separate occasions.

The first one was in August and about this:

We went to Dave Paterson's wedding in August. Most everyone was there on time for the wedding with the exception of 4 people that we could count. Todd Van Allen and his girlfriend Agata along with David T. with his girlfriend.

They missed the entire ceremony. Now, that doesn't sound too bad. Preferably, if I was given the choice to go to a wedding and then have a meal afterwards or just have the meal afterwards - I'd probably just choose the latter. I'm sure most people would. The problem was that Todd was the MC of the wedding - so typically the MC shows up for the ceremony portion. He also had the video camera to record the wedding....so that was also just a wee bit of an issue.

They showed up afterwards and no one really looked happy. Of course - when you approach comedians you're really not going to get much sympathy. David & his girlfriend made Todd & Agata late because....well.....we don't know. David said that it was his fault and his girlfriend blamed him too but we never got a story. No story? No sympathy. Quite funny actually - but after seeing Agata and that she was upset about missing the ceremony Jason Blanchard, Andrew Evans and I turned it into a bit of a "roast David T." night.

It was all in good fun. Any chance we had we took a verbal jab at Mr. T. He was not taking it very well whatsoever. Our thoughts were, "it's your fault, you upset one of our friends, man up and take it for a night". Our jokes were about missing or being late for the wedding - all directed at Mr. T. I admit that it must have been a bit much as it went on for 7 hours (well - 6 hours as he missed the first hour - remember?).

The icing on the cake was when Todd turned to our table during the dinner as he was MC and announced our table to everyone saying something like, "here are the stars of Canadian comedy - you won't recognize a single one from TV". To which I replied "Some you won't even recognize from the ceremony".

Anyhoo - I guess this kept Mr. T. mad so he kept drinking and he was talking during all of the speeches so.....we continued this afterwards.

To make a long story less long - by the end of the night Mr. T. said that he was going to slash our tires and punch me in the face. In which I thought he was joking. Apparently he wasn't.

At around 1:30am, when Kathleen (my wife for you new readers - or reader I should say) and I were already back in our hotel room (we have two kids - we NEED sleep) he sent me a Facebook message apologizing and saying that he would never take a swing at someone. He also sent one to Kathleen apologizing as she was there the whole time as well. We laughed and went to sleep - it was a fun wedding.

That was Saturday night. On Monday I get a call from Mr. T and he told me that he actually WAS going to punch me. Now - I still don't actually believe this. He doesn't look like a fighter. If he did take a swing though he would have knocked me flat on my ass because I definitely wouldn't have expected it. Plus - I'm not a fighter either and I would most likely lose (I've got this weird fear of losing my two front teeth).

He was looking for an apology for what I said on the weekend. I let him know that I wouldn't apologize as he made one of the bride & groom's friends miss the wedding. Our jokes (wasn't just me remember - Andrew & Jason too - although I'm sure he didn't send an e-mail saying he was going to punch Jason or we would only refer to Mr. T. in the past tense) lightened the mood and if he had to take a few jokes in order to make this happen - so be it.

I even said "what are you going to do - defriend me on facebook and unfollow me on twitter?". And guess what happened.

I don't take offense to this - it's just a funny new thing with social media. "YOU'RE NO LONGER MY FACEBOOK FRIEND". Ahhh! I guess when Facebook reconnects you with everyone from high school you forget that you've actually grown up.

October 9, 2011

So I'm not sure. Either my buddy is suffering from Depression or I am suffering from paranoia but I think I'm right.

This is a really strange situation that I'm in right now - a whole new realm of where I really don't know what to do. I've known this guy for 7 years. I know him very well and my closest buddy when it comes to comedy.

We had done many shows together and he is a great comic. He used to have a full-time job but got laid off a couple of years ago and he hasn't really been the same since. I think this is when I first started to notice this.

Since he got laid off he more or less kept to himself. He doesn't go out too much and he stays in his apartment. He'll show up at the odd comedy show and he will go out for some errands but other than that he is at home.

He has not gotten a new job so he mostly makes his money off of comedy. Most....a couple of years ago he started doing medical studies where he would show up at a clinic, they'd strap him to an iv while he takes pills and they monitor him and others. It's sad but some people do this to make some cash. It's a quick way to make a buck but certainly not the healthiest.

And I think that is what has really brought out his Depression. He would not respond to emails or voicemails for a week at a time. He doesn't keep in contact with his close friends. I'm not sure what he does - he has a vague excuse, apologizes, says it won't happen again - and then it does.

It's been a month since I've last heard from him. Not only is a he a friend - he was my business partner too so we typically kept in touch. A month. I hacked into his e-mail (as I received a couple of phone calls from people that were looking for him - not just random neurotic) and I saw that he hadn't checked his e-mails in 3 weeks (at that time - not it's 4) which I found odd as the first email that he hadn't read was from me continuing a normal conversation for that day.

Now - I know he's alive. That was priority one - to find that out. He was randomly spotted at a comedy show a week and a half ago. So he is around - not checking e-mail or his phone or responding to anyone. This is definitely not behavior from the guy that I know.

My problem is that there are really only two guys that care about him - me, who lives 3 hours away driving, and another guy who moved to England. His family doesn't live in the same province so there's really no one to check on him anymore.

We've sat him down for a mini-intervention before but that didn't work and now that no one's around we have no way of knowing how he's doing. This is just a nutty situation and I'm mostly typing this to see if I can figure out what to do.

Of course - if he sends me an e-mail saying that he was getting help for the past month hence the non-response then I'll feel like an idiot. I'd still be correct though.

And then Sens suck really bad this year.

You ever see that Criminal Minds where Giddeon adjusts the clock in the terrorist's cell in order to reveal the location of a bomb?

We are doing that with Ethan's clock in order to get him to stay in bed an extra 10 minutes.
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So.....

Comedians can't take a joke. For the first time that I know of someone has defriended me on facebook and unfollowed me on twitter.
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Ethanator

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Favourite quote

"it's better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6".

Those are words to live by.
www.brianhopecomedy.com

Dear Beer,

We've known eachother for 15 or 16 years. You've been with me through the best of times, the worst of times, the regular of times, the most boring of times.

You helped me make rash decisions on whether I wanted McDonald's at 2am. You always wanted it so I always gave it to you. I don't know why you always wanted a Junior Chicken, a Double Cheeseburger with no pickles and a chocolate shake - but you did.

You've been with me throughout all celebrations in my adult life. Like when I got married. When I heard Kathleen was pregnant. When the Sens made it to the Cup Finals. When I was forced to watch soccer.

But Beer, you haven't been very good to me. I gained a lot of weight when I was with you and I didn't appreciate that. You did it while I was laughing and having a good time so I didn't notice. Not until someone mistook me for one of my buddies who is much bigger than me - and that did it.

That was 3 years ago beer - and while I worked really hard in losing the weight that you gave me I have now reached a plateau. I've lost over 40 pounds and I need to lose 10 more pounds - JUST 10 - but you won't let me do it. You keep saying "Hey - let's go out and get some wings!" - and I would succumb to your peer pressure.

But not anymore Beer. Not anymore.

I've been without you for over 6 weeks now and I'm not coming back. I originally said that I wanted to be away from you for a year - but I'm just leaving you for good. And no, I'm not going to start cheating on you with Rum - I don't drink those drinks. You were my one and only.

Please change your Facebook status from "It's Complicated" to "Single" as I ain't coming back.

And yes, I'll be writing Crack an e-mail in the next few months.

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www.brianhopecomedy.com

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www.brianhopecomedy.com

Day 15

No beer. And someone has "borrowed" a punchline to one of my bits. Wrong week to do that.
www.brianhopecomedy.com

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www.brianhopecomedy.com

Ethan's best quote to date - this was on May 4th:

‎"Daddy, can I wake Mommy up at 6am so she can play with my Woody?" - Ethan Hope, 5:15 AM and referencing his doll from Toy Story.

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www.brianhopecomedy.com

Day 9

No beer. Why is that an accomplishment?
www.brianhopecomedy.com

Day 3 of no smoking

And no drinking. The only reason I am cutting out alcohol as typically when you try and quit smoking you gain weight. So I might as well stay away from beer for a while.

So if you see me eating McDonald's with a beer and a smoke then you may be witnessing a full meltdown.
www.brianhopecomedy.com

My boy this morning

www.brianhopecomedy.com

Breakfast

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So

May 11, 2011

I am quitting alcohol for one year. I will pretend I am pregnant. Hopefully I won't look it.

I am keeping one Labatt Blue in my fridge and I will keep it one year to this day. I assume beer gets better with age.
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My letter to Bell Canada this morning - luckily I did not write this yesterday when it actually happened.


To Whom It May Concern,

I doubt this e-mail will actually reach management but I thought I would give it a shot anyway.

I had a simple request – so I thought. I did not realize that in the history of Bell this had never been asked so I do understand the confusion that happened with my phone line.

Here is the gist of the situation:

I have two phone lines. To really simplify the situation – I have one phone line upstairs (home phone) and one phone line downstairs (business) in my office. To REALLY simplify this – let’s call my home line “Jack 1” and my business line “Jack 2”.

I called Bell the week of April 20th to see if I could cancel Jack 1. We don’t use that one as we have cell phones so we thought we would be smart economically and cancel the upstairs line. I said specifically on that call that I want Jack 2 to stay where it is. It is my business line so I need it in my office.

Easy, right? The person assured me that they would flip a switch in 6 days and the job would be done. Excellent – easiest call I have ever made, right?

April 27th – Jack 1 is canceled - which is what I wanted. Jack 2 – moved to Jack 1 – which is exactly what I didn’t want. SURPRISE!

We only found this out because my wife picked up a ringing phone upstairs (because really, who would not pick up a ringing phone) only to find out that it was a client of mine. Oh – and by the way – trying to make an excuse to my client saying my secretary needs to learn how to properly answer the phone gets me in trouble with my wife too. So Bell also assisted me in sleeping on the couch for an evening.

Now I have no working phone in my office and my work phone is ringing upstairs. Jack 2 has no dial tone.

I called Bell on Friday, April 29th. I had a great conversation with a Bell rep and he understood my situation so I thought. We spoke for 25 minutes. He kept on saying “What were they thinking? Why would they do EXTRA work to switch your phone lines?” I could not answer that. I just said I wanted the phone line in Jack 2.

We laughed, we cried, and then he said they would flip a switch by Tuesday to get everything sorted out. Good – I hung up the phone and cried again watching the Royal Wedding. Joyous! Oh – and for future calls – please speak to your employees about lingo. Don’t say “flip a switch” – make it more wordy so it sounds more difficult than it actually is. Maybe just say “the ‘communications lab’ will have this ready for you”. Just a suggestion of course.

Fast forward to yesterday – May 4th.

If you DO record the conversations please have a listen to this one. You might want to get some popcorn.

I call up – gave my number and started to explain my situation. He lets me know that I shouldn’t worry – the repair was done on Friday. I’m calling from the phone in question – it is clearly not done.

He then asked me if I had tried calling my own phone. So – by him asking me this I clearly knew he had no clue what I was talking about. Maybe it was his first day, maybe he decided to go against the norm and not use a computer – but he did not know my issue.

Yet – when I started to re-explain my situation he said “I know the situation”. To which I replied, “REALLY? OK, tell me my situation”. To which he replied, “I don’t know the situation”.

That was three seconds of my life wasted right there.

I then tried as best as I could to re-explain – and this is partly my fault as I did call just before noon and I’m sure he just wanted to go to lunch. I personally thought he had already but that’s a different story altogether.

Me: “I just want my phone number to be in Jack 2”.

Bell: “That’s a $99 fee”.

Me: “Why?”

Bell: “We have to send a technician out”.

Me: “So you’re telling me…..I made a request to cancel Jack 1. I asked specifically for Jack 2 to stay where it is. Bell moved it. And now I have to pay?”

Bell: “Yes – because we have to send a technician out. It’s a $99 fee”.

Me: “I was not told of this before. Why do I have to pay because you screwed up? I want to speak to someone else. Your supervisor.”

Bell: “He will tell you the same thing - $99 technician fee”.

Me: “Transfer me to your supervisor”.

Now – mind you – I guess if this person excelled at anything it was learning about the $99 fee. I give him an A for that.

On your website under How Does Bell Commit To Their Customers it says:

“We will strive to ensure that pricing information is presented clearly”.

Let’s give him an A+!

Although – the next line on your website says:

“We will be helpful and courteous in your dealings with us”

He receives an F for customer service, listening, empathizing and solving issues. But he does know that fee so if you do happen to speak to him – please start off positively by saying “Hey, the customer mentioned that you knew about our technician fee”.

He finally transfers me. Not to his supervisor of course – that would be what I asked for and clearly I was not getting what I asked for today.

He put me through to Bell Repair – which is what I wanted. I told the new guy my situation – and I said the words I KNEW I shouldn’t have said. I said my “business line” – the guy was very happy to transfer me to “Business Repair”. I let him know that they would not help me – I am not a business. He said that he would transfer me.

Now I’m with “Business Repair”. And I must say (and gee – I really hope you’re listening to all of this from the recorded conversation!) that the phone line on his end was absolutely terrible. I call Bell Canada and some of your guys are using the Magic Jack. Wonderful! Who knows – maybe he’s waiting for someone to flip a switch for his new phone line too.

As expected – the “Business Repair” said they could not help me as I am a residential line. I let him know that I knew that and then we cried again. I got transferred back.

To make a long story less long – I think I was finally helped. The person I spoke to said she would waive the technician fee. I think she expected me to jump for joy at this gracious news but to be honest – as soon as I heard about the $99 fee I knew I wasn’t paying it. They are sending out a technician on Tuesday May 10th – approximately 3 weeks after my original request to put the phone line back to where it originally was.

The total time for this one call is 1 hour and 1 minute. I hope you enjoyed listening to the call – it was a whole lotta fun on my end.

I’ll be canceling my phone and internet service at the end of the month – and yes, we will keep our cable as we signed a two year contract and frankly I have not had any problems with my cable.

If you have any questions please feel free to call me at 613-544-6726. It may ring a few times before I answer as I have to run up the stairs to get it.

Best Regards,

Brian

Brian Hope
Business Development Sales Manager
******************
613-544-6726

Boston Pizza's pizza slogan should be "It seems like a good idea at the time". Just feeling fantastic this morning. I'm in Toronto - I took the MEGABUS to Toronto from Kingston. I really don't like the bus - but the train was $140 and this was $36. My logic kicked in and said "I could save $100 if I take the bus". And that seems great until I actually get on the bus. I would have paid $500 to take any mode of transportation. The guy next to me was a student who decided to do work for the whole trip. He's right-handed so he kept elbowing me as he wrote. I was thinking of punching him but then it would have been awkward for the remainder of the three hours. I got here on Wednesday and performed for Marriott associates at a hotel at Yonge and Bloor. Easily one of the best shows of my life. After the show my buddy Chris and I headed out to Dakota Tavern to see a Stones coverband which was pretty cool. I got a text while we were there saying that a bunch of people from the show went into the elevator and got stuck in there for over an hour. THAT'S why I take the stairs. I'm not sure what happened for the rest of the evening but we wound up at Fran's Restaurant at 2:30am. The health kick is being slightly delayed. Thursday - my former fabulous neighbor Rhonda got me free tickets to the Jays game. I got 4 tickets so I gave them out to a few guys who I apparently didn't tell that the tickets were free. All of them brought money for the tickets. Yes, it did go through my head that if I took this money it would justify me buying a train ticket back to Kingston. But I couldn't do it. I got a beer and a hot dog at the game. $19.00. Thank you for that Toronto. Thursday and Friday were shows at Absolute Comedy on Yonge Street and I'm here until Sunday.

Jaden is just over a month old now and she's slowly adjusting to sleep through the night. Right now she's sleeping from about 11pm until 6am so it is a start. I'm getting a lot more sleep than Kathleen but I'm still not getting much. Da baby has started to smile now so that's great - she's doing a little something new every day which is awesome.

Off to Brockville on Thursday and that's it for comedy this week. I said that I would take March off to stay home with Jaden and Kathleen so I've done pretty good by only doing 3 shows.

Shows coming up:

March 24 - Brockville

April 7-10 - Absolute Comedy Toronto

April 26-May 1 - Absolute Comedy Ottawa

June 18 - some place near Bobcaygeon - that's right - it's so remote that Bobcaygeon is the reference point

June 23-25 - Cottage Comedy Festival

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be spending it at the Ministry of Transportation office and Health Canada office as both of my cards expire and I did not realize it. I told Kat that I didn't receive anything in the mail about it and she told me that I did. I checked....and I did. Fun times!

Well it is 2am on a work night. No - I didn't go out......I was hanging out with Miss Jaden while Kat got some sleep. So she slept on my stomach for about 2 1/2 hours. It can't get much better than that in life.
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Miss Jaden Corey Ella Hope! Born Feb 15 at 3am.

I will put up more pics in a bit. Just haven't had the energy to put a blog together since she was born. Beauty girl and Ethan loves her (as do we obviously).

New goal on the blog. My quest to 170 pounds. I am at 178 right now and I'm looking to take the next step.

And by step.....on Wednesday, for the first time in a long time, I'm going to jog. I don't care what the weather is like - I'm doing it (as long as it is not snowing, raining and it has to be perfectly sunny out).

Also - to assist with this I am cutting out beer for 30 days - not even one. Along with this - no fast food for 30 days.

I'm finished day 3 of no beer and day 2 of no fast food. Should be a hoot. I don't even know why I go to McDonalds. I finish a junior chicken burger in 2 minutes - hardly even seems worth it. But they are so good....
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No sign of baby. We are impatiently waiting.
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Ethan's birthday is today. We thought the baby might arrive on the same day as him but it looks like it won't. There are still 3 1/2 hours left...but doubtful. I'm no doctor but I think I can eyeball labour now.

Ethan had fun - had both families over to celebrate his 3rd bday. The last one before his world changes. Well - our worlds. I keep asking Kathleen what it was like when Ethan was a baby. I don't know how that is all blank in my head....but I have a feeling that I blocked it out of my memory on purpose.

My package arrived today. Kathleen asked me to order this thing we saw on an Infomercial called U-Glue. It's an adhesive that could do anything. A guy stuck it on his ceiling and attached his chin-up bar to it and did chin-ups (obviously). Amazing! We have this green plastic frog that we bought to hold Ethan's toys and that adhesive didn't work well so we thought U-Glue would be the answer.

The box came and.....it says in the instructions that it can only hold up to 3 pounds. 3. Pounds. I'm not positive - but I'm pretty sure the guy in the commercial weighed more than 3 pounds. Maybe he had one-dimensional disease - I don't know. But we got screwed.

This will not deter me from buying the slap-chop though.

I am terrible at Jeopardy. Anytime the term "Poets" or "Geology" pops up my brain shuts down. I will guess Edgar Allen Poe for all quotes - haven't been right yet. And "big rock" for Geology.

Shows coming up:
Feb 20 & 24 - private events in Toronto
Feb 26 - Cannington

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I think Ethan had a coffee and couldn't really sit still. He only had a half-hour nap at school but it didn't really show.

His rendition of of the C is for Cookie song.

Watching Super Bowl - no update on baby yet! Here's a video clip from a show last week. I have posted this on YouTube -

http://www.youtube.com/user/BHoe?feature=mhum#p/a/u/0/uC02j1qNwaM

I've been pretty good at switching up the videos on there. I'm sure when the second baby comes that will be put on hold.

Here's a write-up from the show we did last Saturday at the Waterdown Lions Club.

I was on Kingston local TV today promoting The Boob Tour. Was pretty fun actually and the guy that interviewed me may do a spot on the upcoming amateur night.

I cut Ethan's hair today - I missed so many spots......

This is updated via my blackberry - good old technology.
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I just heard today that another comic left Yuk Yuks, the biggest comedy club company in Canada. I don't know if he left on his own merit or not but it's none of my business anyway.

They are the biggest comedy club in Canada and it's either you work for them or work on the independent scene. I've worked on the independent scene my whole career. When I started in Ottawa I worked the open-mic nights at the Yuks club in Ottawa. I asked for an opening spot and never got one. I may not have deserved one - I do not know. I didn't think of it as a career back then - it was just something fun to do every second Wednesday.

When Kathleen and I moved to Toronto I decided to give it a real shot. We both quit our jobs in Ottawa and moved out here so I could do comedy and she would be closer to Peterborough where her family was from. Hey - if you're ever moving - try to get a transfer....don't just quit your job. Lesson learned.

I did try out the New Talent nights at the Yuk Yuks in Toronto and met Mark Breslin who watched my set. He gave me a speech, which I'm sure he's told many times, about there being a all of these comedians trying to squeeze out of a bottle and many are caught in the bottle-neck. OK, so I don't remember how the story completely went but I got the gist of it. The gist was - he wasn't going to put me on his roster anytime soon. Which is fine - I'd rather someone be honest with me up front instead of saying "call next Tuesday" or something like that. Much better to know right away - that was in 2003 as I remember that I pretty well just moved there.

Although I did find it a little weird as Mark did mention to me that he was happy to see that I did not make fun of him on a comedy website that we went on which was www.torontocomedy.com. He said that he didn't read it but his lawyers did. My eyes just kind of stayed on the door - hoping someone would come in to break up this conversation. Maybe just get up and leave and receive the dead fish handshake goodbye.

So I went the Independent route. Which I'm VERY happy I did. I love working the clubs and the one-nighters that I do and I can book my own shows without any consequences.

There are pros and cons to both.

A lot of people bash Yuk Yuks - especially people that don't work for them anymore - but I have never had a problem with them. They do have quite an advantage over the indie scene. Ontario alone has at least 8 clubs so that is 8-16 weeks of work right there. Absolute Comedy has 2 clubs so that would be 2-4 weeks of work a year. I do love Absolute though - it's such a fun club - especially the Ottawa one. www.absolutecomedy.ca

Working for Yuks would be a great way to start. You get SO much more stage time. I may be doing one show on a Saturday night while someone else is doing 5 shows over the same weekend. But, due to a couple of reasons, I have absolutely zero desire to work for them. I'd be happy to do their clubs but I wouldn't sign onto their roster if I was asked.

I can see a lot of people outgrowing Yuk Yuks and moving on to their own thing but I doubt any one of them regret ever working there. I could be wrong - but I never have been before.

We got 2 great feedback emails from the shows on the weekend and we will be booked by the groups again so that's awesome.

Tomorrow I will be on CKWS in Kingston doing a TV interview to promote the show happening at Time To Laugh Comedy Club on Wednesday. The show is run by James Uloth and is called The Boob Tour. Should be a hoot.

I missed 2 days in a row on my blog BUT I do have a valid excuse. Well...not completely valid - but we had 2 shows on the weekend. Great shows I must say.

The first was in Belleville at the Empire Theatre - there were about 450 people at the show and they loved it. I booked the show but I was not onstage as I did the show last year. That's the rule - if you did it the year before then you don't do it again for at least about 5 years. Some comics don't follow that rule, do the shows themselves again and will eventually not get booked at the venue. So....long story short - I just went to watch.

The line-up was David Tsonos, Darryl Purvis and Ward Anderson. Fun times had by all - especially on the car ride back as we poked fun at Tsonos for about an hour and a half. He can take it - he's Ukranian or something like that.

I stayed the night in Belleville with the guys and they ended up ordering a pizza at 2:15. At 3am Darryl had fallen asleep and Dave cancelled the pizza. It was a little bit of a challenge to cancel the pizza at first as they ordered from Pizza Pizza but Dave kept calling Pizza Hut.

On Saturday morning I drove home at around 6:15, picked up some Timmy's for Ethan, Kat and I and hung out at the house for the afternoon. I left again around 2pm, picked up Darryl and Dave and made our way to Hamilton. We dropped Tsonos off on the way to the show as we had Dave Paterson booked on the Hamilton show.

That show was ALSO great. I didn't know how this show was going to turn out but they ended up selling out the venue. Darryl and I got there at around 6:30pm and I brought my speaker in as we had our own sound system. I thought it was for 120 people - but it was for 230 people. So our sound system would SUCK. It's good for about 150 people maximum. Luckily the Hall we were in had a sound system so after fiddling with it for an hour we finally got it going. That's why you should always get to the venue early. If we got there at 7:30 we would have been screwed. I thank Dave Paterson for pressing the magic button to get it going.

Dave and Darryl weren't happy with their sets but they did well. It's just hard to follow such an awesome, good-looking MC. Oh, and I went over time so I probably screwed them over. I was supposed to do 20 minutes off the top but i forgot to start my watch so I had no clue where I was for time. Turns out I did 30 minutes to start off the show. I had an awesome time though - Dave taped some of it so I'll post a clip in the next couple of days.

I drove back from Hamilton last night and got in around 2am. Ethan came into my room at 5am asking me if I wanted to play. Luckily he got the clue that I wasn't in a playing mood and he let me sleep until about 7. I know - sleeping in. We went outside for a little bit and he tried to help me make cookies.

I'm trying to get my blog to look somewhat cool so you'll see it change a few times over the next couple of weeks. I e-mailed Dayna to see how she got hers to look so good - you can click on her blog on the top-right of mine. I've also added my brother's website, Blanchard's and Dave Paterson's blog.

I just found out tonight that I may have to go and buy a new microphone. Not the biggest issue in the world but we do need one for Saturday so I'll have to run out pretty quick if we can't locate it. So - I need to learn in the next 16 hours what a good brand of microphone is. I know that ones that say "karaoke" are NOT good. There - I hope you learned something today.

Kathleen's last day of work is tomorrow - we're pumped up. We figure she'll have one or two weeks off and then.....BABY!

We've toyed around with names for the past couple of months and there is one that we both love. It just kind of came out of nowhere (and no - she won't be named "Rainbow") but it's a cool name, I've yelled it a few times to test it out and it is "mad approved", so we are good to go. We haven't told anyone the name yet and we are going to wait until the baby is born before we let everyone know.

Well - apparently I was only sick for one day. I called my buddy Chris because whenever something is going wrong with me - there's always something worse with him. It's not that he's trying to "one-up" me - he just doesn't have great luck.

I called him to tell him that I was sick and he told me his roof was leaking. Definitely having a worse day.

I helped my grandmother with tech support. She is the only person who thinks that I am a genius with a computer so I always try and do my best. She clicked on something and her e-mail disappeared so I worked on it and got her e-mail back. She gave me a box of Pringles for my assistance. Fair deal me thinks.

I somehow got sick. I woke up and thought I was going to throw up - perfect way to start off a Tuesday. I did lose 2 pounds though - who would have thought not eating would make you lose weight? What a brilliant concept!

I had the washer repairman over this morning as our washing machine wouldn't drain. I tried to fix it myself and quickly watched 30 litres of water pour onto the basement floor. Luckily there's no carpet in the laundry room (although I don't remember ever seeing carpet it any laundry room) so I just had to put down a few dozen towels and I was good to go. The washer repairman used a different tactic - know as his "experience" - and fixed it immediately. Good guy and gave me some great tips. First tip - don't try and fix it myself.

Kathleen is done work in 3 days - we're pretty pumped!

The power went out on our block today. There was a light post on fire and Hydro One thought it would be best to shut off the power for 2 hours in - 30 weather. I hope they needed to do that.

We ended up lighting candles in the basement and having a good time talking and Ethan enjoyed it after his meltdown. He cried because we couldn't turn the lights on....it's tough to explain to a 3 year old why you can't turn the lights on. "Ya because Hydro One had to shut the pow.." "Daddy - turn the lights on!". That's pretty well how the conversation went.

My teams in football are the 49ers and the Raiders so I really don't have a team to cheer for, nor have I for the past 10 years, in the playoffs. Having said that - I'm glad to see the Packers win (I'm anti-Favre) and I'm hoping the Jets win for the Super Bowl in two weeks. I might not be able to see the Super Bowl as I may be in a delivery room - that I do not know.

I was supposed to head up to Gravenhurst for our friend Michelle's 40th birthday but Kathleen hasn't been feeling well so I stayed with the fam today. We did check and got tickets to go see a Sesame Street play which Ethan loved. There were about 1,000 people there I think - quite a few less than I thought there would be. I think all of the adults had kids with them - if they did not then it would be a little worrisome.

I saw the show with Mike Wilmot, Mike Beatty and Terry Clement last night. Nick Carter did an opening spot in Ottawa and it's one of the best, if not the best, show I've seen at the Kingston club. Great crowd for the most part until towards the end when the front row got a wee bit too drunk but for the most part it was awesome. I have no clue why people go out and try and ruin a show - but you should never try that with Wilmot. You will not win.

Comedian Idol in Kingston last night was.....interesting. It's the amateur contest that they have in the city and Kingston breeds some weird folks. A few were funny and a lot were not - which is what you do expect at a competition like this. It is fun to watch guys go up for their first time.

I'm pretty well going to the opposite of Comedian Idol tonight - it's with Mike Wilmot, Mike Beatty and Terry Clement. A fantastic show and I hope the audience comes out to see these guys as this might be the best show they've had in a couple of years. Might....I've only been here 7 months so they might have had a better show but I can't think of one.

Going to Time To Laugh in Kingston tonight with my buddy Steve to check out the Comedian Idol amateur night. It's always interesting. There's usually AT LEAST one pretty racist guy or girl and we'll see if this holds true.

Here's a link to my blog's Gallery page - it has a radio interview on there that I did in November and it was one of the more fun ones to do. One - because I just got back from Afghanistan so I got to talk about that for a bit - and Two - it was relaxed. It was promotion for a show in Cornwall.

http://www.brianhopecomedy.com/gallery

You don't have to press play - it automatically plays.

Oh - and CORRECTION - I've actually lost 40 pounds - I forgot that the scale I had was 3 pounds off. I'm very obsessive about this as I actually have 2 scales in the bathroom. One to show my weight and the other to confirm that the first scale is correct. Now if they are both wrong - hell I'll never know.

It's official - 3 days in a row I weighed in at 175 pounds. SO that means I have lost 37 pounds since 2008. Not too shabby. So how did we celebrate? We had McDonald's. Brilliant. That's like a guy quitting smoking and celebrating with chewing tobacco.

Jason Blanchard (www.jasonblanchard.com) booked me on a gig for Monday in downtown Toronto. I love the last-minute pop-up bookings and I heard from him that it was a good show last year so....this year will be iffy. It always is. Whenever you show up to a show it's always one person that says "man - it was SO PACKED last year - I don't know why no one showed up this year". This show is more like a corporate show I guess so people will show up but hopefully it will be as fun as last year.

I'm doing the show with Darryl Purvis - a guy I've known for 6 or 7 years I think. The last time we met up was at a golf tournament in the summer with Don and Minnie Courts. That was fun - the only thing was that I was apparently the best golfer - and DAT AIN'T GOOD. I shoot mid-90's but most of the good golfers are in the 70's. We had fun regardless and took advantage of the open-bar that was open one hour before the tourney.

We're doing 2 shows together next week and I also booked him on a 3rd show in the same week but i won't be performing as I did it last year. That show is on Friday, January 28th in Belleville at the Empire Theatre and it is by far our most successful show. I'm going to show up to see how the turnout is and how the show goes. Belleville's only 45 minutes away so it's a pretty easy drive.

Just so you know - if you do a show one year - you should not do the show the next year. If it's an annual event no one wants to see the same guy again. FYI.

Had my parents over for their farewell dinner before they take off to Scotland on Thursday. My oldest brother lives there with his wife and 3 kids and I wish we could go over there too but it's a little tough to travel right now....maybe after the baby is....17. Or 2.

We had sweet chili Thai chicken for dinner. Me made it and I'll definitely have it again. Considering we have leftovers we'll probably be having it tomorrow.

I just got booked for a show on Monday in Toronto so I'll be heading up that way once again. I'm on a mission to find a Danier leather jacket so if there are any outlets along the way I may swing by. I have two already but I'm going to give those away and get another one that's more my style.

It's Monday - a few more Mondays to be a father of one. Soon - there will be a brand new baby girl in the house - that's going to be crazy! We're excited and Kathleen has gotten the baby's room mostly ready. I helped out by lifting a box of books, dropping it and leaving the room. That was a few days ago - I've got a feeling that she hasn't moved the books....considering she's 8 1/2 months pregnant.

Kat and I were playing Jeopardy on the tv tonight - I'm not sure why but we just have a competition to get the right answer. After playing the game we both realized that we need to learn quite a few things.

The pic above makes it look like he lost a battle with a snowmobile.

Went out and wandered the streets with Ethan. We went to shovel the driveway but our neighbor was awesome and snow-blowed it for us beforehand. Everything was pretty well done by the time we got out there. I do feel bad but he says that he loves to use the snowblower AND I've been sick all weekend so I will accept that. I think he has beer coming his way.

Ethan and I went for a walk. It should only take 10 minutes to walk around the block but it took us just over an hour. He would stop, pick up some snow, see a bigger snowball, put his down and grab that one, and repeat.

When Ethan was down for his nap Kathleen and I were in the basement and heard a really loud noise. Kind of sounded like a window breaking so we raced up the stairs. Turns out - in the sunroom - we had a plastic bottle of diet coke out there that just EXPLODED. When you open up the door the only thing you can smell is coke. I took a couple of pics - with the second pic if you just look at the ground you'll see what looks like brown ice - well it is brown ice now. I have no idea how I am going to clean that up. And yes - I will leave the coke and the apple juice bottle in the sunroom just to see what happens.

I don't know how I got sick but I did. Kathleen and Ethan are fine....but me? Stuffed up and wanted bed-rest for the day. I work from home so it's not like I could have caught something at the office.

Having a 2 year old prevents any sort of rest though so we played hide and seek (Ethan told me where to hide and then would look for me - reminds me of Louis CK's bit - if you haven't seen it I can send you the youtube link) and built a castle with his blocks. It doesn't really look like a castle but he mainly just stacks them up and then says "BOOM!" and knocks them all down.

I was all set to have Quickbooks set-up on my computer - ready to buy it and everything.....then I found out that they don't make Quickbooks for Mac. Brutal. It is available in the US but not in Canada. Sonofa. Oh well - I'll work off Excel spreadsheets until I get something good.

Well - our little business is slowly taking off. Andrew Evans and I have been prospecting clients for the past couple of years. In 2008 we had 4 bookings, in 2009 we had 11 booking. In 2010 we had 21 bookings so our goal for this year is 26 bookings for our comedy agency.

Can it be done? Quite simply - yes. The foundation has been set so we are receiving inquiries via our website now which is fantastic. We have some repeat clients and we have had referrals as well. The quality of our shows are pretty darn good so we do expect to get the call again when a company is looking to book another function.

We set the goal in December for 26 bookings - it's now the second week of January and we already have 10 bookings. If we don't achieve our goal...I'll blame Andrew.

I did not find anything cool on Kijiji but Kathleen did - so on my way back from Mississauga to Kingston I picked up a stroller from a house in Oshawa. Normally $300 and they sold it for $120. I checked to make sure it had all 4 wheels and it did so we should be good to go. I'll wait for the "stroller recall" e-mail to come tomorrow.

Had a fun show at the Mississauga Convention Centre today. I was with Andrew Evans and we performed for a software company. I'm not sure what it was but Andrew's and my voice both completely dried up during our set. Very odd. I got Andrew a water while he was onstage. He did not extend me the same courtesy. What a guy.

That's the last show for me until the 29th. I have booked 2 shows but I'm not performing on them as it's a little to close to our baby's arrival. Baby is due on February 14th (which means I won't have to celebrate Valentine's Day I think) but my bet is on February 4th. You heard it here first. Of course - if the baby is born on the 6th then I will just edit this post accordingly.

I will be in Mississauga tomorrow for a show with Andrew Evans. I now am on a mission to check Kijiji to see if there is any cool stuff that I can pick up along the way. I may be addicted to Kijiji.

I bought a war game for PS3 - Call of Duty - World at War. Haven't tried it yet and probably won't even play it. I just bought it because everyone seems to own a Call of Duty game so I want to fit in with all of the "cool people".

I bought it off Kijiji - and ummm...there are some shady areas in Kingston. I will leave it at that. The guy answering the door was 80 years old and in his pyjamas. I don't think he knew what a video game was - maybe that's why it was so cheap.

The show on Sunday was awesome in Kitchener. We already got the reference letter back from the group and a little bit of it is below:

"His show was one that had everybody engaged and laughing. Brian was able to include the audience in a way that is still being talked about in a positive manner days after the event."

That will definitely help with future corporate shows. AND we got another reference letter today from a group that we performed for in December - and it was Andrew's and my favourite corporate of the year. And here is a quote from them:

"What a performance! They had everyone in tears laughing so hard! The jokes were appropriate for the guests, and the group got involved, which made for some great entertainment. We received many phone calls and emails from our employees, thanking us for the best Christmas party in recent memory."

I don't know why I posted stuff - maybe I'm just bragging. No....just happy. And a little bit of bragging.

This is Ethan in our backyard.

I'm off to Kitchener tomorrow to perform at the same Holiday Inn that I did in mid-December. I do have a hotel room there but I will be driving back on the same night just so I can be back for work on Monday morning. I should theoretically be home around midnight so I will successfully miss all of the Sunday football.

On the menu tonight - sour-cream mashed potatoes, Mediterranean pork tenderloin and coleslaw. I also, for the first time, made brownies. And I will again as they turned out perfectly BUT they were a little too good so in order to keep my weight in check I'll aim to make them once every couple of weeks.

Saw Bobby Mair and Darren Frost tonight at Time To Laugh. Both great comics and it's great to see them do their full sets. I don't work for Yuk Yuk's so I don't get to see them too often other than the open-mics in Toronto but they are both great to watch. You can check out Darren at www.comedywhore.com - he's filmed 3 DVD's so far - more than any other Canadian comic I know.

I'm happy to say that we are done Season 4 of Dexter and I did not have the ending spoiled for me. I heard a couple people mention a shocking ending but I never heard what happened. We've got Season 3 & 4 of Weeds so we will start watching those - I'd never watched Weeds before but we've really gotten into it. Highly recommended....if you're under 40.

I'm going to see Darren Frost and Bobby Mair tomorrow night at Time to Laugh - it's Darren's first time since having a wee bit of an altercation in Kingston. You can check out his website at www.comedywhore.com - he's got 3 DVD's out now I believe and he is constantly writing new material which is awesome.

This is my favourite video of Ethan by far - re-enacting Bert & Ernie's "Banana in my ear".

Macbook is working again - life can officially move on. I don't know how it started working again - but it did and that's all that matters. The picture above is of Ethan looking for a crayon that does not exist. If I took a pic after you would see the markers and crayons lying on the floor as he went nuts and started throwing them.

I just got this message from my buddy Pete who works for a hotel in Ottawa. This message was out of the blue.

"My colleague was telling me about this guy at a comedy show he saw who he thought was awesome. It was you! He saw your NYE show. He loves you"

I can't speak for all comedians - but I really don't like feedback right after I do my set. As in, I don't feel comfortable when people walk up and say "great show" as they may have been saying that because they were walking by and they felt that they had to say it. This quote, on the other hand, is awesome and it really did make my day. Hopefully I don't get another message saying that he thought I was someone else.

I'm 0 for 2 with the slow-cooker. Chicken was dry last night and tonight I made applesauce for the first time. I put a cup of sugar in for it.....yup, you can only taste a little bit of apple. So - to the garbage it goes. I'll probably only need a 1/4 cup me thinks for next time...if there is a next time.

I also don't know why it's red. I don't think I could have screwed up that bad.

Houston, we have a problem. MACBOOK PRO DOWN, MACBOOK PRO DOWN. You don't understand - Ethan watches this every night before bed. He watches Sesame Street on the computer. How he somehow managed to own that computer instead of the PC I do not know. But he did. So....the screen isn't working right now. Everything else works - just not the screen....so I went on the Apple Support forums and tons of people have the same problems - yet no one has the solution.

That ain't good. Plus - it's a $2,000 computer so I really don't want to buy another. But if worse comes to worse....we're getting another.

It's like someone's trying to tell me not to update my blog. But I will - I just feel dirty though typing on the PC. I'm way too high-class for this.

Here's the dinner we had tonight in keeping with some good eatin. Not the healthiest eating mind you - it's chicken, cream of chicken soup and stuffing...but at least it's somewhat home made (with the exception of the soup and the stuffing....and well, I didn't kill the chicken myself).

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I bought Kathleen a coffee at Starbucks and I thought I'd be nice and leave a tip for the person at the drive-thru. I said "keep the change" but I didn't give her enough money. Brilliant.

As everyone else is - I am starting up the health-kick again. It took a break from December 19-31 - and during that time I ate and drank what I pleased. Oops. Oh well, twas fun. Now back to the grind. This is what I made for dinner - I made my own pesto for the first time and it turned out pretty darn good. Basil leaves, olive oil, red pepper, garlic.

Kathleen and I are back to work tomorrow and Ethan is going back to daycare. Kat has another month off before she goes on Mat Leave again. I think our lives will be a little hectic in February but it's going to be awesome. Day 2 of thinking of the potential baby name and I still like it.

Yup - avoiding the breakfast sandwich but I'm not avoiding breakfast. I made crepes and pemeal bacon for our weekend brunch. Best. Brunch. Ever. And really easy to make. I've never made pancakes (aside from the pancake mix box) but I can make crepes no problem. Well...even a monkey can.

I'm the cook of the family - Kathleen does not like to cook but I do so it works out. I'll post up what I've made throughout the next week or so and if you're interested in how to make it just let me know.

Comedy show wise - I have a show on the 9th, 13th and 29th this month. February will be a bit quieter as DA BABY is coming! I think we've settled on a name which is great as we were running out of time. I think we have one now that both of us will like.

I'll put up one clip per week of my stand-up on here - that will force me to actually edit stuff and upload it on to Youtube. This one was filmed in November 2010 - and it is the first time that I had actually done this "bit". The bit failed but turned out pretty good at the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkcZ5pNQ2Wg

I had the fantastic experience of performing at Absolute Comedy on the New Year's Eve show - that just topped off a fantastic 2010. Here are a few pics of the evening - I did the countdown to New Year's on the downstairs show.

Daren, Brenda, Moi Jason (owner of Absolute Comedy) and moi

Met up with Daren and Brenda (friends from Ottawa) and we hung around the club until....I don't know what time. What I do know is that if someone says that they will order a pizza - I should not say that I don't care what is on the pizza. I must remember to say "no olives". That's the only food that really triggers my gag reflex. What fun!

It's the first time I've been to the club since Jocko Alston passed away. He was like family at the club and him and I got along great. I would trash=talk him on Blackberry Messenger as he was a Broncos fan and an Edmonton Oilers fan. He had a heart attack and it's left everyone in shock. I still am - it's the first time a friend of mine has passed away. We spoke on email on Monday and he died on the Tuesday. Really makes you think.

New Years Resolutions?

Well - I aim to only have 12 breakfast sandwiches in 2011. So I'm pretty well going from 2 per month to 1 per month. I figure that would help the weight loss. I've lost 32 pounds in about a year and a half or so so I do need to keep that up. Ideally I'd like to lose 5 more and then I'm at my ideal weight. So....taking out 12 breakfast sandwiches should keep me on that goal.

My resolution isn't to lose weight - that can easily be broken. But if I set up some smaller resolutions it will eventually lead to a healthier lifestyle. Right? Right.

That's pretty well the only one I have. I've been fairly decent eating-wise but I do fall off the wagon sometimes (as in ordering a pizza last night).

Here's a pic of Ethan with his Grover mitts and a couple others with Kat. If you want to get anything for Ethan - just have Grover on it and he will love it.