Flight over

I'll do these in a series of days I guess - there's too much to talk about in one blog.

I was chosen to be part of Team Canada at the last minute. I got an e-mail from my booking agent asking me if I'd like to go to Kandahar. As I've never been there before - I figured why not. Just kidding - it's always been my dream to perform stand-up for our troops and I jumped at the chance - I had to cancel work for a week and 2 gigs but I didn't even think of not going. How could I pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

I went to the doctor's office to get my needles - since I didn't have my vaccination card we kind of had to guess what I already had. "What disease was in 1994? I got that shot". By the time I was finished with the needles I looked like I should be on Intervention. Fun times.

I then called CAA about life insurance and we all had a great laugh about that. Nope - CAA doesn't cover Afghanistan. Who knew?

So - I take the train on Saturday October 9, Thanksgiving weekend, and I arrive in Ottawa. They asked for me to go to the Canada Reception Centre. I had no clue where that was but they said it was by the airport. Which is good as we were flying.

I show up and I meet Tuna - Mark Fortuna - sound guy for Crash Karma. I am not a music buff by any means but I figured they were a rock band. Me smart.

The next person I meet? Paul Gross. I had no clue who was going on this trip so I was pretty amazed to see him. Also on the trip - 106.9 Virgin Radio's Wendy Daniels, the Ricky Paquette Band, Guy Lafleur and 10 MMA Fighters.

We get the speech from Gavin Lee - a SAR Tech from the Canadian Forces - google it if you don't know what it is. Awesome job. He gives us a briefing of what we're doing. He points to the plane and let's us know that's what we're flying in. Yup - the Prime Minister's plane. We do a meet and greet and off we went

Reno, our pilot - FUNNY guy. A little too funny - I didn't know if he actually knew how to fly a plane but he's one of the best from what I've heard. Please note that I only heard that from him. And he landed our plane so all was good in the end. I got to sit in the cockpit like a little kid and just stare out at the darkness as we flew. I got a couple of pics that I've attached.

On the plane we set up somewhat of a stage in the back so the bands got to rock out and I got to do a few minutes of stand-up just to say I did that at 40,000 feet.

Our first landing was in Germany - so I got a picture with some German writing in the background so I could prove that I was actually there. I didn't see anything - but I've physically landed there now so I can say that I don't need to go again. We were in Dodden or Fodden or something like that.

From there we flew over to just outside Dubai. I was trying to get a little bit of sleep in but there was a movie on with Keifer Sutherland in it and it was a wee bit disturbing. A girl ripped her face off. As fake as it is - when you're trying to sleep - that picture really doesn't make the sheep start jumping over the fence.

While on the plane I was talking to one of the guys from Crash Karma. I asked him if he'd been in other bands and he said he was the drummer for the Tea Party. Now - like I said, I'm not a music buff - BUT I do know The Tea Party. But I couldn't piece it together - I started thinking that maybe the cd I had was the Boston Tea Party as he couldn't possibly be the rocker for that band. But he was. The guitarist (Mike Turner) was from Our Lady Peace and the lead singer Edwin was from I Mother Earth. Very cool.

I have no clue what time we landed but it was light outside in UAE. Like 35 degree hot. We got there - gave up our passports and got a mug shot. You don't actually take your passports in Afghanistan - you leave them behind and take a photocopy. They gave us our gear (helmet, flak jacket) and we boarded a C-117 to fly to Kandahar. I thought it was fairly comfortable - the only thing that was a little awkward is that about 2 feet in front of me were a crate full of explosives. So the whole flight I was hoping for a smooth ride.

Flying into Kandahar was great - they turned off all of the lights in the plane, we did a couple of small maneuvers and landed. With the plane we were on there were no windows so when we were declining for a while it reminded me of Die Hard 2 when they crashed a little early. In those planes it's extra special when the wheels hit the ground...softly.

We were greeted at the airport by Peter MacKay and the Chief of Defense Staff. We were also greeted by the smell of.....poop. Yes - at the base - they don't have a sewage treatment plant. They put "everything" in the "poo pond". Revolting. Just terrible. Of course, and I don't know why - but 3 days later I asked to see this pond. Honestly - when am I going to see this 8th Wonder of the World again?

Went to sleep and the next day I flew "outside the wire".

DUN DUN DUN - cue music to say stay tuned.